Speaking of which reminds me of the word mediocre. Mediocre, something we really want not to be or being called mediocre is not appealing really, is it? We want to escape mediocrity. Well at least me, i hate doing mainstream. But who am i kidding, at the end of the day no matter how out of the crowd you tend to be you end up eating food of hunger and sleeping at night when everyone else does too. If you are an insomniac then that’s a different thing. It’s a whole different case let’s not go there. So what is mainstream really, I wonder if there really is something as mainstream in a world that functions in almost a similar pattern.
Since i remember anything of my life from the beginning i remember being told what to do what not to do. I was told to talk to person in a polite tone, i was taught morals and ethics in school and in my home. Doing something bad to someone wasn’t good. I was shown the fear of god, when asked who god was and if anyone ever saw what he looked like or why is he the one making rules for entire world, everybody frowned. Why was there no legitimate explanation? People always tell people what to do. What to speak.. What to look like.. How to do certain things. If i go on wearing an outrageous outfit and singing with a brash tenor, everyone’s heads would turn out of shock and and they'd definitely not think that i am a pleasant and wonderful person, they would quickly conclude i am crazy. Aren’t we adjusted already on being and seeing a familiar way of things? If something unusual happens, it’s hard for our brains to persevere.
And education, what do i even say about that. Education is like paying your entire fortune on things that probably does not teach you how to live life or how to mend a broken heart... It does not teach ways to be happy or the real meaning behind being successful. All it ever does is make believe for you to follow a repetitive set of things that is labeled knowledge and then of course, run the race to win. Win through your grades. Judging knowledge by grades? Well that’s like trying to figure out the color of water. To be honest, judging knowledge is taming a bird in a cage, it should be let free and let to fly wild in the air instead. And then it shouldn’t cost anything at all. Why is knowledge exchanged with money after all? Who even started it? If it wasn’t charged a penny, the world would have seen more wonders.
Just when i thought i was growing up in my early teens and i could finally do what i want my girlfriends couldn’t bear me not getting a boyfriend. Heck if i ever cared more for getting a ridiculous looking lad to write corny love letters to and sit with him on a park bench and blushing as if i were madly in love. I was more than glad to not be one of my girlfriends. Even though it sometimes made me wonder when they said i was the weird one for not having any boyfriends at the age of 16 while they were there stacking their date numbers, however, at last my heart won the battle and decided i would get one when i really fall in love with someone but more importantly when i actually want to and not for the sake of making a boyfriend. Lame.
The world is full of hypocrisy. Everywhere there is hypocrisy in everything we do. They would be damned if their hypocrisy wasn’t being followed. Everybody is absorbed in the outer look of life that should always be bright and beautiful and RIGHT in the opinions of those. So it doesn’t matter what the inner story might be, all that really matters is that it should fit into the frame of the society and look normal to all. No matter how dead you are on the inside, you still have to wear a smile and talk to people in good spirits; no matter how hard your day is going you still cannot deny your friend’s invitation for the sake of your friendship. No matter how broken your relationships are you still got to post good pictures with your fellows on Facebook. No matter how unsatisfied with your job you are you still got to work harder and make money. No matter how spiteful your intentions are towards someone you got to act like you love everything about them. Hypocrite enough? Well there are more stories of hypocrisy. But most of all the people who preach hypocrisy are the ones whose freedom had once been killed and are now chanting the names of social ethics, appreciable among people but at the end of day they are only deceiving themselves. Or is it that they fear change? I bet they sometimes wonder and imagine how life would have been if they weren’t so scared to take a chance just once. I sometimes wish all of us were only children. Wonderful, delightful innocence full of little people. Damn it Pandora, why did you open the box? (For those who don’t know about the myth, where have you been living? Under the rocks? Just Google it. I swear i wasn’t paid by Google) If all of us were children the world would have been a happier place. Without any fear of circumstances, carefree, no war no religion no politics just giggles and pure joy. I envy them and all of us adults definitely should. Because we have grown into something we don’t really want to be in the core of our hearts. Blind folded by the unnecessary boundaries we chalked to create a mature better life.
I hate being told what to do. Trust me; i am not in a rebellious teen state where one is wild and cranky most of the time. One who has an "I don’t give a shit", attitude and display of middle finger once something offends. No. Though at times I go through these moments too but don’t get me wrong i am not in that phase. In fact i was never there. I had been an obedient child most of the time, I was the child your parents often told you about. But the more i grow up the better i know things i realize the rebel child in me beating up the obedient one trying to take over everything.
That rebel child asks me to stop doing each and everything they tell me without questioning it.
Why do i have to look pretty? Why do i always have to impress people? Why can’t i be single despite the goddamn fact that i am uninterested and not in love with anybody? Why do i have to get married at 24? Why can’t some people take it that a girl who likes metal is not pretending or trying to be cool? Why is it a must to learn cooking? Why am i barred from religious rites when i am on my periods? Why can’t i smoke as freely as a guy? (I am just emphasizing on the fact regardless to smoking, it still is injurious to both male and female) Why? I know these things do have an explanation but that doesn’t sound logical enough to me.
I don’t know if i am right or wrong in seeking these answers but they sure do cross my mind every now and then and it makes me feel eccentric about the life I am living. But the fact is the world works as per a pattern, if you try to change the pattern many will despise you and ask you to stop... The path can be so lonely sometimes... It’s not easy being an odd one out. You need guts to be the odd one out. It takes courage. Few really can go up there and say to the world, "Hey you, you are being nothing but a flock of sheep. Do your own thing". Chances are most of the sheep will just bleat and tell you that you are being crazy and stupid. And ask you to come back in between them and follow the flock and bleat with them together. If you lose faith you shall become one of them again, stay in the flock forever do nothing but bleat. I am not a fan of sheeps, despite for the good deal of fact that they are the reason why we have woolen sweaters. But i found an extreme resemblance to them. So, if you still believe on your unconventional difficult choices of standing out from the flock. You actually lead. You lead and change the direction of the world.
I am not trying to tag myself a rebel here, I am just trying to voice some genuine thoughts inside me, I know I am still going to fear judgments from people and still going to do all the mainstream stuffs from eating out of hunger or sleeping every night like everyone does. But I will question and object whenever I find something unconvincing as such and try my little not to be just a bleating sheep in the flock.
