20 years 20 lessons

Few days earlier, I officially completed my 20 years of existence in this world. 20 long years…feels like yesterday to everything. Therefore, today, I am giving life lessons and pouring my thoughts and philosophies as if I am an experienced and a scholar from life. No not really, (that was a bit of sarcasm and humor indicated to me myself). There are some things I wanted to share, things life taught me in these years. So, here, allow me to take you into my book of philosophy, for the next few minutes.

1.Growing up was not awesome: Yes, it was not. It supposedly, did not turn out the way we pictured. Childhood is the most innocent, carefree and wonderful time of your life. By this I don’t mean that the rest of the other stages of our lives are going to be gloomy and complicated but the fact that, that particular time is just so beautiful and irreplaceable. But, you know what I advise and try to do myself…that you should never let that inner kid in you grow…stay a child by your heart and let yourself grow in your head.

2. Be yourself: I know this phrase is too cliché but it is the most important thing you ever need to know. NEVER ditch the real you for someone else to like you. Trust me that will never take you anywhere. Trying to live hiding onto someone else’s skin is the worst thing you will ever do. Love and be proud of who you are...No matter whatever or however you are like. Every morning wake up to impress one person and that is no one but you yourself.

3.Time waits for none: Oh yes! As I said earlier, time flies…and it’s beyond our control. There is lesser time than you think…life just escapes. Especially to all the lazy procrastinators like me out there...Stop keeping things for tomorrow. We never really know if there is a tomorrow. Essentially, after the unfortunate and heartbreaking earthquake disaster that hit our country few months ago I realized we don’t have much time to waste…for death is inevitable. So, go ahead turn your wish bucket fantasy into realities.  Because, sadly, time waits for none.

4.Love happens again and again…and again: I once had this misconception about love and relationships. I was too naïve to think that love only happens once with just one person in a lifetime and then its done. How stupid is that? But reality is different and thank god it is. Love not only happens once, it could happen twice, thrice or more than that; with different people or even with the same person. Our heart is a chamber of mysteries that holds so much of unknown..And if love didn’t happen over and over again, the world would become a sad place. Similarly, it is also probable to fall in and out of love. Love really can’t ever be made explainable. Even Einstein could not have done it.

5.There’s one person to change your life, and that’s you: I am that person who constantly needed encouragement and motivation from people to do anything I wanted to do. I had this bad habit of seeking people’s reminders of motivational push to make things happen with an assumption that the more the people will ask you to do the more productive you become. But all these years I realized that its never really them, its you who does it all. I remember how I always wanted to start a blog, never really initiated and worked on it but one day, I sat down, wrote my first article and finally started it. All that time, no one really came up to me and asked me to do it…it was me,myself. So, if you think the people around you are going to help to make your life better, then stop right there. You are the captain of your own ship. You have to negotiate with your life. Aye!

6.Never expect from relationships:  Like anyone, I too use to have a tons of expectations with the relationships around me and that is, well, a part of every human nature. Just a year ago, I had this prospect of meeting that “Mr.right”; the perfect blend of everything I ever want in a guy. I now realize by doing that, I was creating a certain expectations’ boundary for my future partner, which, I know, would never work. In relationships, you never EXPECT anything. I have seen many people hoping for their relationships to make their lives better or make them better persons and that is a complete no-no.  Don’t wait for someone else to take you to the dance floor, rather make your life a dance floor and bring in those, who can dance with you. Expectations are a tunnel to the disappointment world, don’t let yourself through it. Be the best but never expect anything out of it.

7.Letting go is essential: This is something that I have to constantly remind myself…something I am still learning. Hanging up to the things that are no more serving you is useless. You always need to let go. Life is all set to bring new things to you…unless you are going to carry things from the past; it becomes unfair, when you are unlikely to walk ahead and keep looking back when there really is nothing out there. Moving on is a part of living on.

8.The rule of perfection: What is perfection? Where will you find perfection? Perfection is rather a vague term for me. I don’t believe in it. I think the world we live in is made up of glitches itself, so how can we, the creatures of such, seek perfection everywhere we go? Everyone we meet? The next time you search perfection you end up in the black hole, because it’s the last place where you could find it in.

9.Wishes really do come true: Now, this is not some “law of attraction” I am trying to pull off here. This is something I have closely felt and witnessed, like in those Disney movies, wishes really do come true.

10.Stay humble: Humility and humor, I found to be the person’s key personality traits that I happen to admire the most. A humble, person appears more knowledgeable, and more respectable in all manners. I think it also something that a successful personality should possess.  The less you act like you know, the more you actually learn. It really is important to be aware of your strengths but that does not mean you need to repeatedly interpret it to the outer world.

11.Sad experiences boost you up: Ever had a tough time and wondered why were you even born at the first place? Oh yes, most of you have…definitely, And its normal..we all get caught up in the negative whirls of emotions when things don’t go the right way. However, sad, and tough times are like the boosters you need to gear up for life. It is what, that makes you wiser and teaches you more about yourself. Never lose faith when there are dark clouds hovering around you, for they will surely make way for the sun.

12.Solace is important: Socializing is significant as we are ‘social beings’ but it is more important to have a peaceful and private time to oneself. Some time spent in solace, gives you many opportunities and series of moments when you can reflect upon what you are doing or where you are going with your life. It is important to just be with yourself and let yourself connect to the spiritual part, which will really provide you with helpful insights. Escape the chaos sometimes and be with just you.

13.The mathematics of give and take: I know that a person who is generous and giving can always win the day. But there is a limit to everything. Too much of liberality maybe appreciable but it is not always going to be the best. There are such opportunists and selfish people out there who just suck the life out of you. Give openheartedly, but make sure you are gaining something out of it. Never underestimate your self worth in the time while you devote to the ones around you.

14.Experience everything: We live just one life as us. So why should we die curious? I believe, you need to experience everything that is out there but also should make sure you never grow any sort of addiction to any of such things that could possibly harm you or are less favorable. Get to know things, take yourself closer to your curiosities but don’t make an attachment.

15.Life doesn’t get along with your planbook: ‘The planbook’ for me is a name I gave to those of our common future plans we all make. “I am going to have a exciting career, an apartment in New York or living somewhere by Europe and a beautiful/good looking, wife/husband.”We all have our planbooks. But, often, life becomes antonyms to such planbooks. We not always get what we desire. Unpredictability is the other name for life.

16.The yin-yang theory: This theory is something I highly believe in. Now, my theory is that there exists a little good in something very bad and a little bad in something very good. A bad character is not completely bad while the good character may not necessarily be completely good. Such characters only exist in Shakespearean tragedies. In real world, I think everyone is a blend of both.

17.The relativity theory: This is no economic theory. Relativity theory means that if you start comparing yourselves and your life to that of others then it is never going to make you happy and contented. We are always going to find everyone else’s life more appealing than ours, no matter what. They are going to appear better or superior to us in every possible way, unknown to the fact that they too have their personal struggles.

18.Happiness is what we want: Everyone is in a rat race; trying to win, trying to be the best, thriving for success, gambling their luck for more fortune. Yet, the common point behind everyone’s rush in life is, happiness. We all want to be happy and we all have our own ways for finding that happiness, nevertheless, only few realize it is somewhere inside them and not in the worldly pleasures.

19.People leave: The sad part of the life we live is that nothing is permanent. Life is so fickle. And people in our lives are only for a certain time being. Some go away with their own consents while some just leave, without actually wanting to leave. At the end of the day, what we only have of them, are the memories. Isn’t the world we survive in, just so surreal? So, while they are just there, we should not waste a moment to tell them, how much we care and love, before they depart and it’s too late.

20. Don’t fear failure: We are humans. We have evolved through time. We have created history. And all the history has been there because there were failures, there were defeats. Just as much victory is important, defeat is significant too. Had there been no losers, the invincibles could have never made it to the spotlight. The pain of rejections and failures you face makes you become a tougher soldier in the battlefield of life. Never fear one of the biggest life lessons you are ever going to get from it. Lose once, twice, rise again and do it the next time. Fear of failure only lies in your own perceptions.